So…we lost our son today…

Just when you think life couldn’t get more stressful… one moment can put it allllllll right back into perspective. We lost our son today. Don’t get me wrong, we didn’t set down our newborn in his carrier in the produce aisle at the grocery store and forgetfully wander away…he’s big. Well, relatively speaking (sorry bud, got that height…or lack there of, from mom…). He’s almost 13 (and very much dislikes being referred to as ’12’…that was so last year). Teen years are so much fun. I tease, but if you know him, you know he’s a remarkable young man.

So if you know me, you know I can be…a little protective of our cubs. 🙂 I’m entirely understating here, mind you. So…mom finally loosens the apron strings a hair and lets him walk…I don’t know, 5 feet, away from B, the littlest and I to get his icee and says, ‘we’ll be right there’ (pointing to the corner of the booth beside us in the shade to a teenager obviously oblivious to anything I’m doing nonetheless pointing to). Our (almost) teen son hears ‘we’ll be right there’ and thinks I’m referring to the burger joint just up the street we decided to grab burgers from. A minute later we see friends and say hello…I can only assume as our son walked right past not expecting us 5 feet away, but at the burger joint. A few minutes pass so B went to get him…he circled the food truck and returned alone. I remember thinking to myself to take deep breaths and not allow myself to panic as B made his second pass around the food truck. This time when he returned his expression no longer had the ‘don’t worry, he’s fine’ confidence it did the first time. I was still relatively calm trying to keep our littlest from panicking (don’t get impressed yet…not long after I was that mom freaking out crying my eyeballs out clutching our smallest…also bawling… right there in the middle of the festival beside the kind officer attempting to keep me calm as B & the amazing police team scoured the Main Street festival).

Before I continue…I have to take pause and say thank  you, thank you, thank you to my amazing B- that was terrifying, I love you. To the incredible officer with Alachua Police Department (who I later realized was probably not even on duty but didn’t leave our side until our boy was in our arms)– thank you kind stranger for not only facilitating such an incredibly fast response team to our crisis, but for confidently encouraging us the entire heart-wrenching time that we would find him. Last, but so far from least, the kind woman who I wish I had asked her name or remembered her booth name. This woman (who quite obviously has children she loves in her life) without hesitating for permission snapped a photo of our son from the photo on my phone the officers were circulating (seriously- hats off to these professionals, beyond impressive & beyond grateful) and she sent it to anyone she knew at the festival. What felt like a lifetime later she exclaimed ‘MY BOYFRIEND FOUND THEM’…the relief washed over me. Immediately we headed that direction and ended in a full blown ‘sprint’ when he was in sight. Unfortunately I didn’t think to ask her name before we left, but if by some miracle she lands here- thank you from the bottom of our hearts for your courage to step in and help find our son! ❤ Talk about putting things in perspective. Houses didn’t matter. Jobs and income didn’t matter. Having our family safe and sound is all that mattered. Talk about perspective! This momma’s heart might not slow back down for a good minute!

So….before the minor heart attack, I got enough medicine & motivation in me to rally for a fall festival with my amazing B & sweet littles today. I will pay for it (physically), especially with the added stress, but man was it worth it to see my tribe smile! Before we ‘lost’ our son (who by the way was calm as a cucumber the whole time knowing we’d find him), I enjoyed watching them bounce off of each-other playing Knocker-Ball (Dad even joined in the tumbling fun!). We fed goats, enjoyed local music and laughed with one another. Lately it feels like our life has revolved around a mix of what needs to be fixed, painted, sold or cleaned and the groans over cereal, frozen dinners & the brief hot-pocket period (whoa nelly, have they always smelled that bad??? I”ll be soooo happy when I can cook again! Never thought you’d hear me say that huh Ma?!). A day of sunshine and smiles made the silver-linings oh so brilliant and beautiful.

Last but not least…an SOS call to our tribe! As you may or may not know- we’re getting the FARM! We close on Wednesday this coming week. If you ask my sweet B he’ll be the first to recruit volunteers- why? Because this amazing man is the very man who totes an air filter machine from room to room because he knows without it I’ll be struggling in less than an hour and certainly doesn’t want me pulling nasty carpet or trying to clean with chemicals that cause me days of recovery. This man won’t turn down help not for himself but because he doesn’t want me to over-do it any more than I have been these last few months. ❤ LOVE ❤ If you talk to me, I’ll be the first to ask for volunteers so that this amazing man who will try not to let me help will have the help he needs with his side-kick (that’s me) pretty much out of commission until I can breath in there.

We both sometimes struggle to ask for help, but right now, we’re praying that amazing tribe who have held umbrellas for us through these storms…might be willing yet again to put their rain boots on and join us this week to get our sweet farm ready for move-in day! We have downsized in preparation for no help but are praying for plenty! Wish us luck, I’ll update you next week with photos! My amazing spoonie sister Samantha (you heard from her earlier, if you haven’t already definitely check-out the last post!) is helping plan and decorate from afar fixing up our little farm on a shoestring budget, this is going to be a great adventure, I hope you’ll join us!

Much love from your super excited, incredibly grateful & very sleepy spoonie,

Gracie Kelly

One thought on “So…we lost our son today…

  1. That is a nightmare. I can honestly say I’ve been there. Ask Benjamin what a little neighborhood boy did when he he took Benjamin for a walk down town. He came back without Benjamin. He’d left him down in the village. The mother wanted to find him first and then tell me. I was nearly hysterical. None of us had cars. We walked everywhere. I’m not sure if Benjamin remembers, he was only three. I’ve never forgotten. Someone saw him next to a very busy street and they picked him up. He didn’t speak French that well. They took him to the school to see if anyone recognized him. They finally brought him home he was missing for a couple of hours.

    I enjoyed seeing the pictures of your tribe and the new farm. What an adventure you all are on. Hope you are recovering today!! ❤️

    Liked by 1 person

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